Attachment

So pretty to think
that he’s secure
even if I’m avoidant
(which means
I’ll fuck him over—)
         wait:
doing that already.

Hmmm. Then,
am I the evil one
for not leaving him
when he loves me?

(I’m probably not
supposed to be thinking
of this in terms of
who’s evil or not...)

Relationships
are not easy
for the emotionally
healthy—
for someone like me,
they’re pretty much
hell.

But apparently
I don’t even need
psychotherapy!
I can use him
as my secure base
and be normal
and happy.

Wow. Sounds so—
easy.
         How come
saying it doesn’t
make it work?

_